Lately Princess Sierra has been comparing my boring behavior to that of a neutered old dog. Then out of the blue She realized that with me coming off of my hormone therapy i could go get myself neutered and yet i would not be effected as a dog would be. So She has ordered me to go get a VASECTOMY!!! I suppose it is not as bad as having my penis turned inside out and made into a vagina and not as bad as having it chopped off to the size of an olive, but I will still be PERMANENTLY STERILIZED!!! This is something that in my younger days i always said i would never do since i saw how much pain it caused for my brother-in-law, but i have not an ounce of resistance left when it comes to unquestioning submission to the will of HerRoyalHighness Princess Sierra.
Dear Diary,
i am so utterly
amazed
at the good fortune to have had my life so thoroughly overtaken by
HerRoyalHighness
Princess Sierra. At times i have wondered if i would even survive
it, but now i know that no matter what, nothing would be more
fulfilling
than to die trying. Nothing in my life has ever been so rewarding
as to know that i can do anything at all to make HER life more
comfortable
and happier for HER. i have had to struggle constantly to
condition
myself not to complain and whine about my own wants and desires, but
She
has remained so strict with me and so completely intolerable of my
selfish
outbursts that i finally do feel i am ready for the next level.
And
the timing could not be better since Princess Sierra has recently found
a new love interest with an Equally Superior Woman, which will surely
put
my long-term selfless conditioning to the test. my whole life i
have
learned from society to be so possessive and jealous of that which i
love,
but such an attitude is so unsuitable for my life as a slave that i am
looking forward to the challenge of overcoming this major stepping
stone
so that i might become all that much more trusted and useful to my
Princess.
In order to accomplish this, She has allowed me to do some thorough
house
cleaning in preparation for Her new lover to come over for an intimate
night at home.
i shopped for dinner groceries, and cleaned the whole house--including the sacred bedroom, which i have only been permitted to enter once before so that i could hang the "Accolade" picture that i bought for Her birthday last year. As i was shopping for the dinner groceries, my mind drifted back to the most awesome rewards i have ever received from HerRoyalHighness--that of serving as Her dinner chair while She ate the meals i had so lovingly prepared for Her. But for this special occasion, i would not even be permitted to be in the house at all. And the whole time i was cleaning i could not help but to imagine the intimacies my Princess would be sharing with another Woman in such a way that i could never even hope to share with Her in any other manner than as a facilitating servant. But rather than letting my longings for such pleasures as i know i could never be worthy of, i learned instead to focus on the joys that my Princess would soon enjoy and hoped that in some small way i could take pleasure in knowing that i had done my part in facilitating them. i got to pick out new curtains for the bedroom and hang them, i bought fresh flowers and arranged them, and i even had the privilege of washing the sheets and making up the bed they would lie upon together. To keep my heart pounding like never before, my Devastating Diva even told me that i would be rewarded with the privilege of returning the following day to clean up after them and would be allowed to worship the sheets they laid upon.
Dear Diary,
It is amazing how
easy it is for a man to get a VASECTOMY!
It was only a little over a week ago that it was nothing more than a
sudden
whim in the mind of the Woman who owns me so completely, and now i am
sitting
here sterilized for life knowing that i would be shooting blanks if i
was
even allowed to shoot at all!!! The nurse asked me right before
my
surgery how my wife convinced me to get a vasectomy. But all i
could
tell her was that i am not even married and that i was doing this
simply
because the Woman i love told me to. It torments me all that much
more to realize that i have NOT even been ALLOWED to MASTURBATE for
nearly
a YEAR now, let alone never again being allowed approach another Pussy
Palace with an erection for the rest of my life! i do not know
anymore
if i would even be capable of performing traditional sex acts, but i do
know how shameful it is to acknowledge the perverted things that do
cause
me to have erections and become so sexually frenzied as to BEG and
PLEAD
for my Princess to allow just one merciful release!
Dear Diary,
Lately i have been
struggling with the conflict between my perverted side and my more
vanilla
side. my love for Princess Sierra transcends them both, but i
cannot
help craving such simple pleasures as giving Her a heartfelt hug.
i told Her of this desire a long time ago, but She only chastised me
over
it back then. It seems that Her new love interest may be more
than
just a new torment, but may actually be a real blessing in
disguise.
For She has been so much more affectionate toward me, even if only as
an
owner is towards Her loyal puppy dog. She just makes my heart
melt
when i get the tiniest amount of affection such as a pat on the
head.
But my mind has never been so blown away as when (after so much mental
abuse and teasing torments on the cell phone over the things She
enjoyed
about Her new relationship with an Equally Superior Woman while i was
driving
over to do some chores) my Princess finally allowed me to give Her a
hug
around Her beautiful knees as i kneeled before Her in tears.
Never
before in my life have i ever been broken down so low as to be able to
openly cry like a baby as i was made to realize what a lowly pervert i
am and how i will never be able to enjoy any intimate relationships of
equality with anyone no matter how i might try to fool myself into
believing
it. And to demonstrate the point She was making about what really
works for me and all that i will ever be suited for, She took me
upstairs
and secured me to the inside of Her bathtub to give me the first
directly
administered golden shower i have ever had in my life. Oh Dear
Goddess!!!
What an experience!!! Of course She was absolutely right about my
reaction as i lied there in a state of absolute ecstasy with an
undeniably
full erection. It all became perfectly clear to me what i am and
where i belong. i have never felt so at home as i did lying there
drenched in Her golden nectar and watching Her get ready to go out for
an evening with Her new lover as i was left there for nearly six hours
letting it all sink in. It seemed like an eternity, but it was so
worthwhile when She finally returned to soak me down again for the
remainder
of the night, only to be released in the morning to go home and ponder
my new awareness of reality.
Dear Diary,
i have been so
afraid
that my first splooge in a year would have to be into a sperm sample
container
for the doctor following my vasectomy. They normally do 6 week
and
90 day tests, so the first one would have fallen at the end of
December.
Fortunately, my doctor said one test would be enough and he wrote me a
prescription for a Semen Analysis to be done anytime during February or
March! So having that fear out of the way, i could look forward
to
a more special ceremony ending my year long period of chastity. i
was so fearful i would not even be able to release when my Princess
would
finally allow me to, especially when She told me that i would only be
allowed
to splooge upon sniffing one of Her Farts!!! But as i so
anxiously
worshipped and anticipated the aromatic signal She warned me was on
it's
way, Her Fart sprung like a trigger causing me to shoot my long retired
gun in an instant!!! i was sooo relieved and happy it worked that
it wasn't until later that i realized that i had become what She now
calls
a "fart faggot."
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